There’s something special about pulling a crispy-skinned golden turkey out of the oven and a perfect pour of gravy hitting a dollop of creamy mashed potatoes. As someone who’s hosted many Thanksgiving dinners, I’ve learned that timing the turkey and getting the gravy just right is only part of the equation. The bigger question that’s sparked many a family debate: When exactly should we sit down to eat?
To get some lived perspective, I turned to the true experts of holiday hosting—grandmas. I spoke with six experienced grandmothers who have collectively hosted hundreds of Thanksgiving dinners, and they all pointed to the same sweet spot: between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. Their wisdom goes far beyond just picking a convenient hour; it’s about creating the perfect conditions for holiday magic to unfold. These matriarchs consider a lot more than they get credit for.
The Grandmas I Asked
My panel of experts brings decades of hosting experience to the table.
- Faith Kramer: Grandmother of two from Oakland, California; J Weekly columnist, creator of Blog Appetit, and author of 52 Shabbats
- Lucy Piatek: Grandmother of six and great-grandmother of one newly-minted babe from Mississauga, Ontario; forager, gardener, hobby farmer, and beekeeper
- Cheryl Evans: Grandmother of three from Hamilton, Ontario
- Diane Angelucci: Grandmother of two from New Jersey
- Donna Weinstein: Grandmother of three from Potomac, Maryland; volunteer, avid reader, and book clubber who loves aerobics, traveling, gardening, bridge, and pickleball
- Linda Starr: Grandmother of seven from Rochester, New York
The Best Time To Serve Thanksgiving Dinner, According to Grandmas
The consensus is clear: Late afternoon to early evening is prime turkey time. Kramer prefers serving dinner during this period because practically speaking, “you have more time to get ready, and you don’t end up missing meals. I think it’s partly because, as a kid, I never liked the odd time of a mid-afternoon meal, and as an adult, I preferred [not to] end up eating four meals or skipping one.”
This gives her more control over the time and a full day to “produce the meal,” which she appreciates.
As Weinstein sees it, her family is used to having their biggest meal around 6 p.m., so there was never a reason to do it earlier for Thanksgiving. “We have turkey, which tends to make one sleepy, and we don’t want to end up sleeping all afternoon,” she explains.
Piatek and Angelucci aim for the earlier side of this timeframe, with Piatek sharing that it “gives everyone time to socialize and enjoy their dinner before going home.”
This timing hits a sweet spot that Angelucci has found perfect for her family. “From a grandma’s perspective, I think it’s best to serve dinner after nap time,” but she also understands the importance of flexibility. For example, she sees the need to give the parents a much-needed break if they have babies and toddlers in the mix. In this case, Angelucci advocates serving dinner during nap time “so the adults can relax.” Then, “the child(ren) can eat when they wake up,” and everyone gets to enjoy their meal.
Starr agrees that after the afternoon nap is best and adds that it happens to be “when the kids are accustomed to sitting at the table for dinner anyway.” Weinstein, however, practically points out that napping children would “miss the meal if [was] served earlier” and it’s important to her that they join.
How These Grandmas Found the Perfect Time To Serve Thanksgiving Dinner
What struck me most in my conversations with these wise women was how their chosen dinner time reflected a deeper juggling of family dynamics. They’re not just timing the turkey—they’re orchestrating an entire day of memories based on anticipating their family’s needs, moods, and emotions, all while balancing the practical workback schedule of a large, often multi-course dinner.
The timing considerations extend far beyond the kitchen. “Not all my kids live in town,” Piatek explains, highlighting how travel logistics play into her planning. She also holds a chocolate egg hunt for her grandkids, and this gives them time to do it.
Kramer also coordinates special games and activities for her family members, sometimes even treating the meal like a Passover Seder, where she tries to “add meaning and alternate viewpoints of its history and significance. I don’t really try to tie it to religion, just make it more than a dinner party.” She did this for her sons when they were little and continues to do the same for her grandkids, encouraging her guests to come early to enjoy some appetizers and participate in the activities. Kramer also considers guests with “multiple dinner obligations,” saying this timing allows them to “stop by for dessert” even if they can’t make it to dinner at her house.
Experience has taught these grandmas what doesn’t work, too. “We tried seven o’clock dinner one year, and it was too late for the little kids,” Piatek recalls. “We did try a later time, but by the time dinner and dessert was over, it was late for them to return home,” but “a 2 p.m. [start time] was too early to prepare the full dinner for 13 people.” Evans adds that an earlier time doesn’t work because her grandkids don’t skip lunch, and she “wants them to be hungry” when she serves the family meal.
Setting aside the day-to-day responsibilities of women’s work (a whole other story!), these conversations reinforced the mental, emotional, and physical work that holiday magic-makers perform this time of year, whether they’re the ones making the dinner or not—although in most cases, the grandmas I spoke with also acted as the head chefs.
A Small Part of a Bigger Holiday Picture
The 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. timeframe these grandmas recommend isn’t just about serving dinner—it’s about creating the perfect conditions for family togetherness, ensuring everyone from the youngest to the oldest can fully participate in the celebration. No matter when your Thanksgiving dinner happens, it’s clear–the blueprints, architectural diagrams, and emotional negotiations that happen in the background are all part of creating a “perfect” mealtime scenario that suits everyone.
Thanksgiving is a single-day representation of the labor that caregivers have performed for their families for centuries. “You can’t expect holiday dinners to be perfect,” says Angelucci. “As hosts, we often stress about things we can’t control instead of enjoying the time together.” And at the end of the day, this was at the crux of what all the women I spoke to really wanted: valuable family time.
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